Dear…
‘And ye will not come to me, that ye might have life.’
John 5:40
I have in these few days eaten so much “healthy” looking food both at home and at work that my heart must be wondering what took me so long to be so disciplined. And a cardiologist might no longer be what I need, but a psychiatrist to help me get over the withdrawal symptoms from my abstinence from the usual sinful fare.
‘That thou mightiest fear the Lord thy God, to keep all His statutes and His commandments, which I command thee, thou, and thy son, and thy son’s son, all the days of thy life; and that thy days may be prolonged.’
Deuteronomy 6:2
A lifeline, our good Lord has given me in shaking me up from my continuing on my nonchalant route to self destruction. Yet, ensuring the positioning of the plaque at a critical enough junction to keep me from wavering.
I did feel a sense of self pity as I trudged to the clinic to collect my month’s supply of drugs that will help to ensure that no more plaque will built up to dam my blood flow. I am not sick as in actual manifestation of a diseased body, yet I have this little bomb strapped upon me that must be gingerly managed. Quite a paradox that like the Apostle Paul I wish God will take “this thorn in my flesh’ away.
‘But he saith unto them, It is I, be not afraid.’
John 6:20
The fear of death is what the devil use to hold on to us. The fear of the Lord our God is the beginning of wisdom. Till God takes me home, the responsibility I have to my family and to the many people that God has placed in my life, is to stay healthy both spiritually and physically, for our body is the temple of God. And that requires the need to use modern medicine, much as like many, I dread the side effects of such medications and rue the need to go into a literal bondage to the pharmaceutical companies. Are drugs a lifeline for a neglected body or are they the parasitic tubes attached to millions of people, who can never be weaned off from dependency on its efficacy to keep our health?
‘Be careful for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.’ And the peace of God which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.’
Philippians 4:6-7
As I resumed writing this sharing, the one week plus of introducing foreign bodies(that is, medicine) into my till recently relatively drug free ecosystem is making me(as what Winnie the Pooh will describe it), a little ‘woozy.’ The daily “beta blocker” tablet that I now take, helps to slow down the blood flow and relieve pressure on the heart, but has the undesired side effects of causing fatigue, anxiety to depression. Thankfully, by the grace of God, the emotional distress has no room in my countenance, but I do feel physically spaced out.
‘Moses My servant is dead; now therefore arise , go over this Jordan, thou, and all this people, unto the land which I do give to them, even to the children of Israel.’
Joshua 1:2
The Lord impressed upon my heart at the onset of my knowing about this imperfect physical heart, as to my willingness to enter the prison that many are already confined to? One would have thought that as one’s faith grew, as God Who has brought me out of the bondage of Egypt, trained and mold me in the desert, that in keeping to His promise that it is now time to bring me into the Promise Land(as shared previously), that one will enter it from a position of strength. And not in this less than ideal condition that I now find myself in and dressed in the literal garb of a prisoner, even as one steps into the Promise land.
‘Therefore we ought to give the more earnest heed to the things which we have heard, lest at any time we should let them slip.’
Hebrews 2:1
Steadfastness and resoluteness in faith, is that what God needs to ingrain in our very being before we enter the Promise Land, for there are still giants to be faced? Our journey with God is one of continuous spiritual growth and maturity, and ends only when the Perfect God returns or He decides to take us home. None of us are perfect, but God will continue to perfect us in His likeness. As the furnace heats up, for only then can purification be even finer, without His Divine intervention and grace, can one be willing to take the next step of faith and not succumb to the intensified heat? It is often in weakness that we will be willing to seek our Lord and follow His leading.
‘Only be thou strong and very courageous, that thou mayest observe to do according to all the law, which Moses My servant commanded thee, turn not from it to the right hand or to the left, that thou mayest prosper whithersover thou goest.’
Joshua 1:7
As the European debt conundrum comes to a climax in the next few weeks, a “literal seizure” globally will occur, that will entail a determined solution, which till now is not forthcoming. This ‘solution’ that will be put forward will be more of a deferment of a future problem, just like what the Americans did in “resolving” the subprime crisis. This continued delusion(of printing even more monies, and lowering already lower than low interest rates) will eventually have to see a day of reckoning, which will if history is a good indicator, lead to great social unrests, political uncertainty, wars, protectionism and stagflation. All of us will be shaken, and only those who “bought gold” as in our Godly character as refined by the Lord will be able to not just remain steadfast, but blessed. God put this “proposal” on buying gold as refined by Him, in my heart four years back, and I said yes. Prayers are indeed answered, but never in our way but His way. The ride might be wild and daunting, but God not just ride with us, but He shelters and carries us forth.
‘For I will at this time send all my plagues upon thine heart, and upon thy servants, and upon thy people, that thou mayest know that there is none like Me in all the earth.’
Exodus 9:14
As I ponder upon the closing thoughts for this sharing, our Lord brought me to the prayer of St Francis of Assisi. The last two lines “It is in dying That we are born to eternal life.” How true it is, for all many of us, the specter of death is what most try not to think about by concentrating head-on on the lures of the world. And most only take time to seriously reflect upon the meaning of life and thereafter, when circumstances especially near death, bring their relentless delusion to a screeching halt.
God is graceful. He allows plaque in my heart, but not the dreaded plagues. He knows I seek Him, and yet, He knows in answering my prayer to serve Him even more deeply, He has to let me go through an even more intense fire of purification. And it is only in recognizing that death is not a matter to be afraid of, but rather it is eternity that we must grasp and work on with our all, that will we truly, in my and your case, be willing to go beyond our finite understanding to follow Him, and for many who have never seek the Lord, to truly take time to reach out to the outstretched hand of our Lord. Do take this lifeline while it is still available.
'The preparations of the heart in man, and the answer of the tongue, is from the Lord.'
Proverbs 16:1
May the thoughts today and going forward in the new series “Heart to heart,” be truly used by our Lord to move your very being, to be aligned with the Spirit of God Who resides in all the hearts of those who believe.
God Blesses
Eng Hieang
(29th Sep 2011)
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